it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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