Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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