real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's like iHOP with fire
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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