Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
