i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize