i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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