with your own penis?
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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