Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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