that's an acceptable place to lick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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