we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
