Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
