i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
