upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
