You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
