Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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