Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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