What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
