So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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