how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
