have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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