she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize