but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We need to get me chipped asap
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