it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
