I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
