I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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