We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize