i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize