For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize