he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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