I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
