Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
