TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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