Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
