I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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