it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
