do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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