Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
