At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
