So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
