he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
