I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
