I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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