I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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