I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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