either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
