and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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