She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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