Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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