My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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