Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
wow bdsm is so cute
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
