Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
