Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
