i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
