At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
