Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
