there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
