Porn is love you can see.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
