i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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