he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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