Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
