so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize