Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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