I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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