He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so let's talk penis.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
