Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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