she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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