just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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