i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
