So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Still dying that you shit outside
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize